My Personal Love and Relationship Conditioning, and the Wounds I’ve had to Heal…

When it comes to love and relationships, it’s never been easy for me. In fact, I would go as far as saying that it has been one of my greatest challenges, yet I’ve come to realise it’s also been a great teacher for me. Today within this article, I’m going to share my personal story when it comes to love and relationships. I will share my condoning as well as the wounds I have been healing, in the hopes you will gain some personal insights for yourself. So let me share my story…

As I was growing up, I was raised in a family that from the outside looked idealic. On the inside though, it was far from a healthy environment. My parents would argue and fight all the time and for me personally, it felt extremely toxic. Much of the time, I felt as though I was stuck between needless bickering though there was nothing I could do about it. This for me was my upbringing and shaped the way I looked at relationships. It also became my conscious conditioning, though I wasn’t aware at the time. Deep down, I was a hopeless romantic and yet I couldn’t fathom a relationship like that of my parents.

When I got to university, I entered my first serious relationship which was truly beautiful. Even as I look back on it today, I see it as a blessing for me. She was a kind woman with a beautiful soul, so very much a gift to me. We were together for quite sometime, though sadly the relationship ended. The relationship break-up struck the core of my being and in many ways tore my soul apart. It left me feeling lost, alone and incredibly numb. From that moment on, I became fearful of love, for if I were to have another experience like this I honestly wouldn’t know what to do with myself. Over time, I came to realise I had deep wounding around love and in many ways it stemmed from here.

Through this experience, I completely lost myself and yet it was this experience that began my journey of Self discovery. As I look back on it today, I see it in many ways as a blessing even through the deep heartbreak.

What I have learned through the relationship with my parents and also this tragic experience was not only that I had become deeply fearful of love but also I didn’t want a relationship anything like the resemblance of my parents one. This caused me to completely stay clear of relationships for many years, though I found other toxic patterns to fulfil my needs of love. Though this was not healthy, it became my coping mechanism and strategy to fulfil my desires and the hole in my heart. As I looked at other relationships around me, I also noticed many toxic patterns within them too and just knew I didn’t want that for me…

As time went on, I started to develop a belief that almost all relationships were like this. It was as if relationships had become so transactional of “what can this person do for me and what can I get back in return…”, almost as if all love was lost. This is when I truly began to think about the relationship I truly wanted to have in my life.

As a hopeless romantic (though nowadays I like to say hopeful romantic) it was important for me to have a relationship that I could feel in my heart and soul. I wanted a love that was completely unconditional and naturally flowing between us. It would also be essential to have a partnership with little to no conflicts within the relationship. Though this sounds like much to ask for, I do believe we find this when we connect with a romantic soulmate. They express love to you, as you do in return for them and it flows quite naturally. Many people would ask me “Andy, why are you still single and not in a relationship…” and then go on to say: “they are really nice and would be a good fir for you” and whilst that is no doubt true, I want a relationship that fulfils the needs of my Soul . Personally, I am not looking for a transactional relationship or a relationship for the sake of not being single. My soul has always been yearning for something much deeper and I long for a relationship that ignites my Soul, and every fibre of my being. Love is what sets your Soul on Fire, it’s what brings your life alive!

Now that I have experienced much spiritual growth on my journey and have come to realise that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. In order to truly love another you have to love yourself which is very much a journey in and of itself. I also believe it is essential for you to heal the deep wounds you have surrounding love and relationships. If you neglect your healing, then all you will do is bring your past pain into your present relationship. In the process of doing that, you also come to realise that by healing your wounds, you are learning to love yourself. Finally, my greatest of lessons is to learn to break away from any conditions you have around love for that sets you free to love unconditionally.

This is in many way why I created my Self Love Sessions, they help you to disconnect from your conditioning and your heal the deep wounds surrounding love so you can begin to truly love yourself.

I have now come to a point in my life where I can approach love fearless. I am able to give love unconditionally without the need to receive it in return. It’s not been an easy journey and in many ways it is constant and never ending. In order for you to truly embrace love though, you have to learn to heal the pain that harbours within you. As a take away message I will say that “Love it all you need and that begins with YOU!”

Thank You for reading, I hope you have found my story valuable as you have gained personal insights for yourself. If you would like any personal guidance or assistance they I would love to support you.

With that, I wish you all the best on your Journey of Divine Love.

Much Love

Andy 🙂🔥❤️💫